Blades of Glory Chazz and Jimmy Meet Again

Photos

Quotes

• Jimmy : So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.

  Coach : Oh, really?

  Chazz : We're gonna trip the light fantastic to one song, and one song only: "Lady Humps" by the Blackeyed Peas. "What yous gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I'm a get you lot, get you drunkard, get you boozer off my lady humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps."

  Jimmy : [disgusted] I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don't fifty-fifty know what that ways.

  Chazz : No one knows what it means, but information technology's provocative...

  Jimmy : No, it's not, it's gross...

  Chazz : ...It gets the people going!

• Jimmy : I don't share rooms!

  Chazz : I don't share SHIT!

  [pause]

  Chazz : The nighttime is a very nighttime time for me...

  Jimmy : [to Chazz] It's dark for anybody, moron!

  Chazz : Non for Alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles!

• Jimmy : I encounter y'all got Fat!

  Chazz : I see you nevertheless wait like a fifteen year old daughter, but not hot!

• Chazz : Troubled childhood? If yous consider a 9 year old kid with a 35 year old girlfriend troubled.

• Jimmy : They're laughing at us.

  Chazz : Hey. They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna become to the moon. Now he'south up at that place, laughing at them.

• Chazz : Nancy Kerrigan. Yous an official here? Crusade you've officially given me a boner!

• Chazz : [to Jimmy'south voice mail] If we went to a Halloween party dressed every bit Batman and Robin, I'd become as Robin. That's how much you mean to me...

• Jimmy : Become out of my face.

  Chazz : I'll become within your face.

• Chazz : Personal philosophy? Clothing optional.

• Chazz : We love you Denver! City by the Bay!

• Bryce : Are yous drunk?

  Chazz : No, but this oughta exercise information technology

  [smashes open up a bottle of liquor and drinks]

  Bryce : I'd burn you... if y'all weren't so goddamn cute out there.

  [break]

  Bryce : You smell like urine.

  Chazz : A lot?

• [In front of enormous "Capture The Dream" sign]

  Chazz : Allow's capture the dream.

  Jimmy : Capture the-wow I love it. Where'd you come up upwards with that?

  Chazz : I have no idea where I came upwardly with that.

  Jimmy : Cool.

  Chazz : Permit's kick some ice.

• Jitney : You getting a lot of satisfaction from those 15 dollar hookers?

  Chazz : I am NEVER satisfied! It's a expletive.

• Chazz : Listen-bottling, isn't it?

  Jimmy : Did y'all just say mind-bottling?

  Chazz : Yes, heed-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy information technology gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

• Chazz : No exaggeration, I could non love a human baby more then I love this brush.

• Chazz : [while trying to cut off the rope tied on his feet using one of his skate blades] Whoever invented rope was a real a-hole!

• Chazz : I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a existent disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

• Chazz : She'southward equally common cold as the ice she skates on. She's like dry water ice. No, look! She'southward colder than that. What's colder than dry ice?

  Jimmy : I don't know

  Chazz : I'll tell y'all what is, Oksana.

• Chazz : I don't want to close my optics, don't want to fall comatose crusade I miss you lot Jimmy, and I don't wanna miss a thing.

• Chazz : Help yourself to the Mane n' Tail all yous want, only don't even wait at the Verticoli...

• Chazz : [while Jimmy is giving a speech] That's retarded

• Jimmy : You ruined my dreams!

  Chazz : Dreams? Shit, I haven't had ane of those in years.

  Jimmy : Cypher it Chazz, just zip it, or I'll punch you lot in your crap-lousy confront!

  Chazz : Hey, this ends this night!

  Jimmy : Information technology'south daytime, yous douche!

• Chazz : And that'due south why I was a sex addict because no i ever loved me, but I learned something here today, that ice it doesn't vest in here

  [pointing to middle]

  Chazz : it belongs out there, out on the ice, in an ice rink. I never had a father okay, only I don't intendance considering now I've got a blood brother

  [grabs Jimmy]

  Chazz : , this is my brother

  [grabs Katie]

  Chazz : and this is my brothers new girlfriend and she is non a whore. I'm in a lot of pain I call back I'm gonna barf.

  Jimmy : Chazz, Chazz they gotta get you to a hospital.

  Chazz : What, no and miss the odor of sweetness gold not on your life.

• Chazz : I call back I meet the Virgin Mary!

  Jimmy : No, that's not her.

• Chazz : Ahh, my nutsack!

• Chazz : Don't brand me kill her!

• Chazz : [shoots fire out of his fingers at cease of performance]

  Jimmy : Was the burn actually necessary?

  Chazz : Ask THEM.

• Chazz : Hey, MacElroy, was that your routine or a performance of Cirque de So Lame? Too, you're too late; they already handed out the girls' medals this morning.

  Jimmy : Shut upwardly, Michaels. That was textbook execution. Same scores I beat yous with in Oslo.

  Chazz : I was on quaaludes, I don't even Recollect Oslo.

• Chazz : [drunk while performing in "Grublets On Ice"] Hey! Hey, you picayune wood creatures! None of you sons of bitches try to be heroes!

  Chazz : [drunk while performing in "Grublets On Ice"] I simply threw up in here, people. That'due south the reality. Just some other layer to the legend. I am goose egg but a homo onion! In fact, we all a... Ugh, encore!

  [begins throwing up once more]

• Chazz : The night is a very dark fourth dimension for me.

  Jimmy : It'southward dark for everyone, moron!

  Chazz : Not for Alaskans or dudes with night-vision goggles.

• Chazz : I see you have learned to piece of work the Google on the internet machine.

• Jimmy : Watch my icy hot super slide.

  Chazz : Do it.

• Chazz : So, how'd it go with your lady? Carve up any water ice... with your weiner?

• Chazz : I'yard a sexual activity aficionado and I'm attracted to women.

• Chazz : [Referring to his program] I hope y'all've brought your argent polish, MacElroy, 'cause that was gold.

  Jimmy : That was disgusting.

  Chazz : THAT, young human, is how babies are made.

• Chazz : I permanently telephone call shotgun.

  Jimmy : Yous practise not get shotgun every fourth dimension!

• [Chazz and Jimmy have just seen the decapitation caused by the Fe Lotus on video]

  Coach : [confidently] Okay, and then what practise you say? Let's effort an Iron Lotus.

  Chazz : Are you nuts?

  Jimmy : Wha...? We can't do that!

  Jitney : C'mon. What are you lot talking virtually? Await, after all these years, I know what went wrong. The physics were off; it was a man and a woman. That's why information technology didn't work. You're two men... you lot should be fine.

• Chazz : [referring to his program] Eat THAT, MacElroy.

  Jimmy : Those were the same scores I got, Einstein. We're tied!

  Chazz : Yous're high!

• Chazz : [backstage at "Grublets On Ice"] I hate my life.

• Chazz : Y'all're living in the past, Sammi. Me and the Woodland Fairies, we're living in the HERE and Now.

• Chazz : 2 men skating? That's a anarchism. A express joy riot.

  Coach : I don't meet what's and so funny.

  Chazz : If you were as drunk every bit me, you would.

• Chazz : [while attempting the Iron Lotus] I swear to God, if you lot cutting my caput off...

• Coach : What do you lot guys have that all other teams don't have?

  Chazz : Twin dongs?

• Chazz : It makes my hair shine like Orion's Chugalug out on the ice.

• Chazz : Throw me some chicken.

• Chazz : [while performing in Grublets on Water ice] Hey, everyone! This is Gary the squirrel! Now, listen up, Gary'southward been a long time friend. We've been skating for... two and a half years. i think when nosotros were hanging out near a jitney stop in Tucson, He said "Hey, I've got a third brawl"

  [Chazz pukes in his wizard mask]

  Chazz : I just threw up in hither people!

• Chazz : Thanks Denver, The City by the Bay John Denver.

• Chazz : [Leaving a voice post message] Hey, Jimmy. Hey, it'south me, Chazz. Wait, what happened back at that place - and so not a big deal. Just call up of it as, like a, boob handshake - between me and your lady's boob. Look, that'due south not coming out right, I'll explain information technology. Call me dorsum! Please, information technology's me, Chazz.

• Female person Sex Addict/Rinkside Nurse : [Chazz, injured, hobbles off the rink] Are you lot okay? I'm gonna have to cutting your pants off

  Chazz : Beginning up almost the crotch. Its a better admission indicate.

• Chazz : This guy could non agree my jock sweat.

  Jimmy : I could hold information technology all twenty-four hours long, try me!

  Chazz : Peradventure I will.

  Jimmy : Maybe you should.

  Chazz : You challenging me, princess?

  Jimmy : I'm non inviting you to the Skating Federation'south almanac Christmas party.

  Chazz : And then bring it on!

  Jimmy : It is on!

• Coach : You're the girl.

  Jimmy : What?

  Chazz : You're my pretty lady, MacElroy.

  Jimmy : Wait, why?

  Autobus : Because y'all whine like ane!

  [turns to Chazz]

  Coach : And no i can elevator your fatty ass, you're on a nutrition starting now.

• Chazz : [the crowd is booing and throwing garbage onto the ice] Oh, bring it on! Permit information technology rain down on me!

• Chazz : Better step aside homeschool, in that location'south a new Sheriff in town.

• Chazz : What're you, the rug doctor?

  Jimmy : Maybe I am.

  Chazz : Well, I'm the carpeting MASTER.

  Jimmy : What does that even mean?

• Jimmy : [Jimmy walks in on Chazz and Katie getting intimate] Y-y-y-you sex demon! You sex fiend!

  Chazz : This isn't what it looks like.

  [Grabs Katie'south breast]

  Jimmy : Impure! Impure!

  [Runs out of the room]

  Katie Van Waldenberg : Jimmy, wait!

  Chazz : Brother man!

• Chazz : [a the Figure Skating Association hearing] Maxim Magazine, concluding issue: "Chazz Michael Michaels IS figure skating!" BOOM!

• Chazz : Y'all know what dude, your hand has to be on height.

  Jimmy : No way, the girl's goes on top.

  Chazz : Yes, ergo, chick.

  Jimmy : I'm not the girl, I'chiliad stronger!

  Chazz : No, I'M stronger, and don't have a vagina.

• Jimmy : I call top.

  Chazz : Sorry, I already chosen it in my head...

  Jimmy : No, you can't do that, that doesn't count.

  Chazz : Yes it does.

• Chazz : Chazz Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy *are* figure skating.

  [shouts and raises left arm]

  Chazz : Boom!

• Chazz : I am never satisfied! It'due south a curse...

• Chazz : But I remember Boston, and that victory was as sweet equally the cream pie for which the town was named.

• Chazz : Become that damn bird out of my face before I break its neck.

• Jimmy : This ice has non been properly Zamboned! Where'south the warm-down room?

  Coach : We don't take any of that. What we've got is a common cold storage unit that a buddy of mine permit me flood with a garden hose.

  Chazz : Nice option, Motorcoach.

  Double-decker : Turned out well.

• [final lines]

  Chazz : Permit's get outta here.

  Jimmy : Now?

  Chazz : Aye.

• Chazz : We're going to Montreal bitch!

• Chazz : You're welcome Stockholm!

• Jimmy : Who'due south that?

  Chazz : Yous hateful Katie van Waldenberg?

  Jimmy : She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?

  Chazz : Fairchild's legs and Stranz'south ass.

• Chazz : Y'all know this is how I rolled when you met me.

  Sam : No, when I met you, you were a great figure skater. Now you lot're only getting stoned with the Woodland Fairies.

aplinonsgived.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445934/characters/nm0002071

Share this post